My WordPress Blog
When we’re young, life transitions are fun and empowering. We go from crawling to walking, walking to running. We start with training wheels but soon no longer need them. As we age we graduate into higher grades and become more independent. But as adults, life transitions can feel not so fun and far from empowering, […]
When we’re young, life transitions are fun and empowering. We go from crawling to walking, walking to running. We start with training wheels but soon no longer need them. As we age we graduate into higher grades and become more independent.
But as adults, life transitions can feel not so fun and far from empowering, because life transitions can often include loss: loss of a job, a marriage, and loved ones. During these life transitions, we can feel out to sea, completely at the mercy of the tides that seem to be tossing our lifeboat around.
If you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed right now because you are facing one or more life transitions, here are some ways you can navigate these choppy waters:
Slow Down
Have you noticed that the pace of life has picked up? Most likely your heartbeat and breathing have also picked up as a response. It’s time to slow down.
As simple as it may sound, slow, deep breaths are a powerful way to tell your body that everything is okay. Right now, your body is in “fight or flight mode,” as you subconsciously, and maybe even consciously, feel you are being attacked. Making time each day to be still, away from the noise and chaos to breathe deeply and slowly, will slow down your heart rate and make you feel calm and peaceful.
Embrace Uncertainty
I know, it seems completely counterintuitive if not downright impossible. But when we surrender control and embrace the unknown, with an almost scientific curiosity about outcomes, we feel positive emotions (curiosity, wonder) instead of negative emotions (lost, out of control).
Acknowledge the Cycles of Life
Someone once said, “This too shall pass.” Life, like weather, has seasons. While you may feel stuck right now and like nothing is going the way you hoped or planned, recognize the truth, which is, this too shall pass. Transitions are just that, an uncomfortable bridge from one part of life to the next.
Fall Back on Traditions
Rites of passage have been used for thousands of years in all cultures to help people transition from one place in life to another. It’s time to call upon this ancient wisdom of our ancestors and empower ourselves.
Rites of passage put us in the driver’s seat. We can acknowledge that things MUST change because we intuitively understand that the human journey is all about facing challenges and becoming new versions of ourselves.
Life, such as it is, throws us curve balls and sadness and things that cast fear and doubt into our vision. This is natural and no one escapes.
But there ARE ways to navigate these challenges. Try these three tips. And if you’d like additional help along your journey, please get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
Instances of gambling addictions have risen sharply over the last few years. In fact, in the United States alone, over 5 million people reported having a gambling addiction that required treatment. Gambling addictions are classified as impulse-control disorders, types of progressive addictions that can negatively impact a person’s life physically, psychologically and socially. People who […]
Instances of gambling addictions have risen sharply over the last few years. In fact, in the United States alone, over 5 million people reported having a gambling addiction that required treatment.
Gambling addictions are classified as impulse-control disorders, types of progressive addictions that can negatively impact a person’s life physically, psychologically and socially. People who live with a gambling addiction may experience symptoms such as anxiety, distress, intestinal disorders, migraines and even depression.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, states that for a person to be diagnosed with a gambling addiction, they must experience at least four of the following in the last 12 months:
Individuals who have been officially diagnosed with a gambling problem are typically offered three types of treatments:
Medication
Antidepressants and mood stabilizers have been shown to be somewhat effective at reducing the symptoms of the addiction. Some antidepressants have even been shown to reduce the urge to gamble. While medications should never be used long-term, they can be beneficial short-term for those suffering from extreme symptoms.
Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps individuals reduce their urge to gamble by helping them to discover their own behavior and where these urges stem from. CBT works because it gets to the root of the problem and changes the way the individual feels and thinks about gambling.
Self-Help Groups
Many individuals find it helpful to find a supportive addiction group, either online or in their local area.
Like other addictions, it will take time and effort to recover from a gambling addiction. But once you learn how to work through the addiction, you’ll come out the other end a person who feels happy and peaceful.
If you believe you or someone you know has a gambling addiction and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may help.
SOURCES:
April is National Counseling Awareness Month, and so I thought it would be a good idea to take this time to talk a little about mental health and the benefits of seeking treatment for whatever issues you may be facing. When we talk about mental health, we are talking about our emotional, psychological and social […]
April is National Counseling Awareness Month, and so I thought it would be a good idea to take this time to talk a little about mental health and the benefits of seeking treatment for whatever issues you may be facing.
When we talk about mental health, we are talking about our emotional, psychological and social well-being. Our mental health not only affects how we feel but also how we think and behave as well as handle stress and make decisions.
Just how common are mental illnesses in the United States? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:
While there is no single cause of mental illness, there are some common factors that are believed to contribute to the risk of developing mental health issues. These include:
Living with a mental illness can be incredibly painful. This is why National Counseling Awareness Month was started, to help those in need recognize there are people and resources available to them. A professionally trained therapist can help you uncover the cause of your mental illness as well as offer tools and coping mechanisms to turn your life around.
To find a therapist near you, you can use this directory, which lists therapists by state and specialty. Keep in mind that many therapists are now offering sessions over the internet, so it may be best to pick someone you feel more comfortable with instead of someone who is geographically close.
I do offer telehealth services and would be more than happy to speak to you about what is going on. Please feel free to reach out to me.
Resources:
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, nearly 1 in 5 women will be raped at some point in their lives in the United States. In addition, an estimated 13% of women and 6% of men reported being a victim of sexual coercion, which means being pressured in a nonphysical way of experiencing unwanted […]
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, nearly 1 in 5 women will be raped at some point in their lives in the United States. In addition, an estimated 13% of women and 6% of men reported being a victim of sexual coercion, which means being pressured in a nonphysical way of experiencing unwanted sexual penetration.
Keep in mind, these numbers represent only those victims that came forward. For every one of these statistics, there are other men and women who have remained silent about their assault.
Sexual assault is complex. It obviously includes rape, attempted rape, unwanted touching or fondling, and sexual coercion. But sexual assault can also include things like:
After an individual has been sexually assaulted, they often feel fear, shock, shame, guilt, or a combination of all these feelings. In addition, people who have been the victim of a sexual assault may also experience headaches, asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, trouble sleeping, chronic pain, eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.
While it can feel incredibly overwhelming after you’ve experienced sexual assault, it’s important to recognize that it is never your fault. It is also incredibly necessary that you practice self-care and self-compassion at this time. This means ensuring you eat right and get enough sleep each day. While it may be difficult to take care of yourself as you normally would, your recovery depends on it. Reach out to friends and family members who can help you with any chores or cooking.
Also, know that there are therapists who can offer effective coping strategies.
Some forms of therapy can help you learn how your unconscious emotions affect your behaviors and the challenges you may now be experiencing. Other types of therapy, such as EMDR – or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, can rewire the brain, helping you to change the way you process the memory and the assault.
There are some very good resources available to you
National Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233)
And if you would like to speak with someone, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to talk about how I may be able to help.
If you struggle to set goals, let alone reach them, you are definitely not alone. In fact, it is thought that roughly 92% of the population has found it hard to stick to goals. This constant cycle of trying to set beneficial life or health goals, but never quite reaching them, can ultimately lead to […]
If you struggle to set goals, let alone reach them, you are definitely not alone. In fact, it is thought that roughly 92% of the population has found it hard to stick to goals. This constant cycle of trying to set beneficial life or health goals, but never quite reaching them, can ultimately lead to depression.
That’s because reaching goals is empowering and helps us feel we are in charge of our life. When we don’t reach goals, we feel powerless and even hopeless that our lives can change for the better!
Just as you must follow a recipe to the proverbial “T” to end up with something edible, there is a formula that must be followed to the “T” to set reachable goals. This formula is often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help individuals set and reach goals that will help them change behaviors and better their lives.
Goal setting has actually been shown to be a useful tool for those suffering from depression according to a study published in the journal PLOS ONE. The study found that individuals suffering from depression had more trouble setting goals and were far less likely to believe they could reach them.
The study found that those who were depressed had more difficulties setting goals and they were also less likely to believe they would achieve those goals. The participants also tended to set avoidance goals rather than approach goals.
An avoidance goal is one you set to avoid a negative outcome. “I want to lose weight so I don’t develop type 2 diabetes.” An approach goal, on the other hand, is one that you set to ensure a positive outcome. “I want to lose weight to have more energy!”
The study shows that counseling can help people with depression set and achieve realistic and achievable goals as well as help them stay on track mentally in pursuit of that goal.
The goal-setting formula used by most CBT therapists is as follows:
A therapist can help you with each one of these steps. From ensuring you select realistic goals that are approach goals, to helping you identify where you are in relation to your goal, breaking down the goal into smaller, actionable steps, and helping you take that very first one, a counselor or coach will be in your corner, helping you every step of the way.
Make 2021 the year you reach those goals that will help you live your best life. If you’d like some help getting there, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
SOURCES:
Are you an emotional eater? When you’re feeling stressed, do you find yourself ordering in pizza? When something sad happens, do you drown your grief in sugar? If so, you’re not alone. A majority of people deal with the challenges of life by turning to their favorite comfort foods. The trouble is, these foods are […]
Are you an emotional eater? When you’re feeling stressed, do you find yourself ordering in pizza? When something sad happens, do you drown your grief in sugar? If so, you’re not alone. A majority of people deal with the challenges of life by turning to their favorite comfort foods.
The trouble is, these foods are only a temporary fix. They fill a void, and in the case of sugar, give our mood a boost. But then we come crashing down again and may even experience shame and guilt for having binged on food we know is not good for us. This can lead to a vicious cycle of more emotions, more eating, more emotions, more eating. This cycle can ultimately lead to weight gain and even the development of certain chronic diseases like heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
We are what we eat is a very true sentiment, especially when it comes to our brain. When life throws us challenges, we need our brain to work optimally so we can figure out the best way to deal with our circumstances or to process emotions. The trouble with reaching for comfort foods is, they are actually harmful to your brain.
Think of your brain like the engine in a car. You wouldn’t put frozen lattes in your gas tank because you know your car needs the right kind of fuel to run well. Your brain also needs the right kind of fuel. Your brain requires high-quality foods that are loaded with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. These nutrients nourish your brain and protect it from oxidative stress.
Did you know that studies have shown a direct link between a diet high in refined sugars and impaired brain function? And even a worsening of symptoms such as depression?
The bottom line is, while your instinct in the moment may be to reach for those processed comfort foods, do your best to make better food choices. It will be hard at first, but good habits can be formed over time. Your brain will thank you.
SOURCES:
Men have taken on a specific role in human development over the span of hundreds of thousands of years. While roles have very recently shifted somewhat, historically speaking, men have been the ones to fight the wars and build society. And if you think about it, it’s pretty hard to feel emotions, let alone process […]
Men have taken on a specific role in human development over the span of hundreds of thousands of years. While roles have very recently shifted somewhat, historically speaking, men have been the ones to fight the wars and build society. And if you think about it, it’s pretty hard to feel emotions, let alone process them, while on bloody battlefields and balancing atop giant skyscrapers.
You could say at this point in time, men have become hardwired to compartmentalize their feelings. They have them, just as much as women have feelings, they simply select to store them away and get to them later. For this reason, most men buck at the idea of going to therapy to communicate their feelings.
The reality is, it is for the very reasons I just stated that men can greatly benefit from therapy. Here are 3 reasons why men should at least give therapy a try:
Recover Your Sense of Identity
For many generations, there was a strong definition of, and acceptance of, masculinity. Today, we are given a mix of messages from the media about what it means to be a man and how destructive “toxic” masculinity is. Add to this the fact many men grew up in homes where the father was either fully absent or emotionally absent, and many men struggle with their own sense of identity. Therapy offers men a space to create a healthy definition of what it means to be a man.
Improve Your Relationships
Because men have a hard time communicating their feelings, their female partners can often feel abandoned and confused. This can cause real problems in the relationship.
Therapy allows men to become a healthier version of themselves, one that can connect better with their partner.
Deal with Grief and Pain
Grief, loss, trauma… these are sadly a part of life. Most people, especially men, have a very hard time navigating these mental health challenges. Therapy helps men explore their own emotional pain so they can heal and move on.
These are just a few reasons why men should seriously consider trying therapy. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
We live in a society that seems obsessed with physical health and weight loss. A majority of people have tried one or more diets to lose weight. People join gyms, juice, and take supplements, all in an effort to optimize their physical health. Sadly, most people don’t give their mental health a second thought. The […]
We live in a society that seems obsessed with physical health and weight loss. A majority of people have tried one or more diets to lose weight. People join gyms, juice, and take supplements, all in an effort to optimize their physical health.
Sadly, most people don’t give their mental health a second thought.
The problem is, no matter how good you look in a bathing suit or how “ripped” you may be, or how low your cholesterol is if you aren’t mentally healthy, your life is negatively impacted.
In the age of Coronavirus, when many of us are dealing with health and financial struggles, the stress can really take a toll on our mental health. With this in mind, here are some good mental health habits to practice in 2021 and beyond:
Gratitude is like a magic bullet when it comes to mental health. Too often, when we are feeling negative emotions, we deny our full reality, that is to say, we deny all of the wonderful things that are present in our life. Be sure to take realistic stock in your life each day and feel grateful for the people, events, and things in your life that bring you joy and happiness. And be sure to share your gratitude with others!
The only thing worse than dealing with grief, sadness, and stress, is doing so while devaluing your own self-worth. Be sure to treat yourself as kindly as you do your loved ones. See the good in you and practice self-care and self-compassion every day.
Most of us cling to the idea that we can control every single facet of our lives. It’s just not true. This desire for full control brings with it a sense of anxiety. Make this year the year you finally let go of needing to control everything.
Toxic people are bad for our mental health. It’s time to cut ties with those who bring you down in order to make room for people who will support you.
Along with these habits, you may want to consider speaking regularly with a mental health counselor, who can help you navigate any issues you may be dealing with and provide coping techniques.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. Let’s discuss how I can help you make 2021 your best year yet!
SOURCES:
While both men and women suffer from drug addiction, the reality is that men tend to suffer at a rate much higher than women. The result is in this country, we are seeing an epidemic of men with drug addictions. Why are the Numbers So High? To really understand the impact of addiction on men, […]
While both men and women suffer from drug addiction, the reality is that men tend to suffer at a rate much higher than women. The result is in this country, we are seeing an epidemic of men with drug addictions.
To really understand the impact of addiction on men, it’s important to look at the statistics. Data put out by the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Administration reported that roughly 67% of all substance abuse admissions in the United States are male. It should also be noted that these numbers hold up, regardless of age, sexual preference, or ethnic group.
But why are these numbers so disproportionately high? One explanation might be that men naturally partake in riskier behaviors. Men tend to be the ones that drive fast, scale buildings, and experiment with illicit drugs.
Men also will turn to drugs to self-medicate their depression and anxiety. While men and women both suffer from depression and anxiety, men don’t typically seek help from a counselor. There is a sense in many men to reach out for help is an act of weakness. And so they go it alone, using alcohol and other drugs to soothe their pain.
Now that we understand a bit more about why drug addiction is a bigger issue for men, let’s take a look at some of the most common signs:
If someone you love is showing one or more of these signs, it may be time to intervene and speak to them about a treatment plan.
Rehabilitation for drug addiction is a complex thing. Our loved one will not only have to detox his body to remove every trace of the drug; he’ll also have to commit to therapy to understand the psychological and behavioral reasons behind the drug addiction.
Therapy can be done one-on-one or in a group setting. And of course, he will need to join a support group such as AA to make sure he stays on track.
If you or a loved one are struggling with drug addiction and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. My goal is to help you navigate the healing process so you can live a happy and fulfilling life.
SOURCES:
Unfortunately, being a survivor of trauma or abuse is exceedingly common. According to the National Children’s Alliance, nearly 700,000 children are abused in the U.S. annually. And according to the Center for Disease Control’s 2017 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, nearly 1 in 4 adult women and approximately 1 in 7 adult men […]
Unfortunately, being a survivor of trauma or abuse is exceedingly common. According to the National Children’s Alliance, nearly 700,000 children are abused in the U.S. annually. And according to the Center for Disease Control’s 2017 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, nearly 1 in 4 adult women and approximately 1 in 7 adult men report having experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.
While it is challenging to be a survivor of abuse, the journey to a place of peace and acceptance can be an empowering one. No matter if the abuse you endured was recent or long ago, a daily self-care regimen will help you cope with what still affects you today.
1. Quality Sleep
Ensuring you have adequate sleep on a nightly basis is an essential component of maintaining optimum physical, mental, and emotional health. Fundamentally, your body needs regular rest to operate properly. A good night’s sleep will uplift your mood and energy, improve your memory and help keep stress levels at a minimum.
2. Meditate
Setting aside just five to ten minutes a day for some quiet reflection can help boost your immune system, manage stress, help you focus, and boost your mood, to name just a few of the many health benefits. Find an easy or beginner meditation to follow with a Google search, smartphone app, or the free meditation exercises available on YouTube.
3. Exercise
Finding some forms of enjoyable exercise will help you feel more energized. Exercise is also a great physical outlet to release pent-up emotions you likely have as a result of your abuse or trauma. Try taking up walking, jogging, yoga or anything you enjoy. Don’t force yourself to do anything wholly unpleasant or push yourself too hard; exercise is an act of self-care, not a punishment.
4. Positive Affirmations
It’s all too common for abuse survivors to feel shame about it and blame themselves; for that reason, it’s important to program yourself with positive thoughts and beliefs. You can tell yourself, for example: “I am valuable,” “I am worthy,” “I am capable,” “I am strong,” “I am intelligent.” Pinpoint negative self-talk and counter those thoughts with positive affirmations.
5. Support
Engage your support system by calling a friend or family member, joining a support group and/or finding a therapist. If your support system is lacking, use a smartphone app or the Meetup website to find a local, like-minded group and make some new friends. Sharing your struggles with people who understand and care about your well-being is an important aspect of your healing journey.
Are you a survivor of trauma or abuse? A licensed mental health professional can help you so you don’t have to go through this alone. Give our office a call today so we can set up a time to talk.
SOURCES
http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/media-room/nca-digital-media-kit/national-statistics-on-child-abuse/