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As beautiful and joyous as life can be, it can also be plain ol’ stressful. Whether it’s hefty mortgage payments, killer commutes, or bosses who don’t give us the credit we deserve, stress can come at us from all different angles. Surveys have uncovered some pretty disturbing statistics about stress. 33% of people feel they […]
As beautiful and joyous as life can be, it can also be plain ol’ stressful. Whether it’s hefty mortgage payments, killer commutes, or bosses who don’t give us the credit we deserve, stress can come at us from all different angles.
Surveys have uncovered some pretty disturbing statistics about stress. 33% of people feel they live with extreme stress, while 48% believe the stress in their lives has increased over the past five years. And a whopping 77% of people surveyed said they experience physical symptoms caused by stress.
What are some of these physical symptoms linked to chronic stress?
• Pain of any kind
• Sleep problems
• Autoimmune diseases
• Digestive problems
• Skin conditions, such as eczema
• Heart disease
• Weight problems
• Reproductive issues
• Thinking and memory issues
How Meditation Can Help
There is now scientific evidence that meditation is effective against physical symptoms of stress such as IBS, high blood pressure, and ulcerative colitis. Meditation has been linked with improved immune response, reduction in pain sensitivity, and a shift from negativity to positivity.
Further, research has shown that meditation may physically alter the brain and how we are able to cope with chronic stress.
But what exactly is meditation? When many people hear that word, they have instant visions of people sitting in lotus position chanting, “Ohmmm.”
Mindful meditation is simply the practice of harnessing our attention to quiet our chattering minds. Instead of letting our brains run rampant like energetic puppies, sniffing one thought after another and another and another, mindfulness focuses our attention in the now.
The problem is because mediation is so deceptively simple, many people either feel it can’t possibly work in general, or they won’t benefit from it. And because we live in a society that seems to promote instant gratification, other people expect that after their first 20 minutes of meditating, all of their problems will magically dissolve.
But meditation is called a “practice” for a reason. Like anything else that is beneficial to your mind and body (sound nutrition and exercise), it takes commitment to reap those benefits.
Tips for Beginner Meditators
If you are interested in trying meditation for yourself, here are a few key tips:
• Get comfortable – you don’t have to sit in the lotus pose. You can sit in a comfy chair or even lie down. The trick is to be comfortable enough that your body sensations don’t distract you, but not so comfortable that you fall asleep.
• Don’t try and control your breath, just breathe naturally, simply staying aware of your breath.
• Start with just a few minutes and build from there.
• Don’t try to be perfect. There is no perfection in life or meditation, so just keep practicing every day.
If you find after you’ve been meditating for a little while that you could use some extra help dealing with the stress in your life, get in touch with me. I’d be happy to explore treatment options with you and talk about how I may be able to help.
If you’re reading this blog post, chances are you and your significant other have hit a snag in the relationship. Maybe you’re spending less time with each other and you’ve grown apart. Or maybe you do little else than argue these days. All relationships go through their ups and downs. No matter the good intentions […]
If you’re reading this blog post, chances are you and your significant other have hit a snag in the relationship. Maybe you’re spending less time with each other and you’ve grown apart. Or maybe you do little else than argue these days.
All relationships go through their ups and downs. No matter the good intentions of the individuals or how in love you were when the relationship began, it is completely natural for a relationship to take a hit every now and then.
In some ways, these trials can be a good thing. Much like you need to break down muscle to build it up stronger than it was before, many relationships can be strengthened by challenges, provided your communication is healthy.
Here are some ways to improve communication in your relationship:
It’s important to be open and honest with yourself and each other. Don’t deny that something has changed in your relationship, admit it openly. You may also need to recognize that each of you has changed over the years. None of us stays the same. Our wants, needs, passions, annoyances, etc. change as we mature and grow as people. People can usually accommodate this change as long as they admit it has happened.
There are two words that are very powerful in communication, “Yes, and…” Effective communication is not about one person being right and the other wrong. Often, both people are right and allowed to feel their feelings. Try not to attack the other person or get them to compromise on issues. Instead, focus on simply being heard and hearing the other person.
If you want to improve your communication as a means to get the other person to change their ways, you are really thinking about this communication thing all wrong! Good communication is not about winning an argument. This is not a debate class. Your goal is to better share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, hopes and struggles with each other. Don’t be so focused on getting the other person to change and focus more on how your own behavior could change.
Managing your emotions is one of the most important skills when it comes to interpersonal interaction. How often are you ready to blow when you and your spouse or partner are speaking to each other? How does the communication breakdown once you or your partner have become emotional?
When communicating with your partner, or anyone, should you feel your emotions rise, stop, take a slow, deep breath, and let it out. Taking this moment is important and will help you not to say something you’ll regret or that will escalate the situation.
None of us are perfect. All we can do is try to be the best versions of ourselves we can be for ourselves and our loved ones. By following these communication tips you will be able to strengthen your relationships.
When we talk about our mental health, we’re talking about much more than a clinical diagnosis. Your mental health also refers to your psychological well-being. Having a healthy psychological well-being means you’re able to better manage your emotions as well as your mood. Every day presents its unique challenges, and a healthy mental state can […]
When we talk about our mental health, we’re talking about much more than a clinical diagnosis. Your mental health also refers to your psychological well-being. Having a healthy psychological well-being means you’re able to better manage your emotions as well as your mood. Every day presents its unique challenges, and a healthy mental state can help you take challenges in stride.
Repeating an affirmation can help you create a positive mental outlook that will be a driving force in your life. Use a search engine to look up “positive affirmations” and you’ll find several ideas of words and phrases that resonate with you, and things you struggle with. You can also try searching for something more specific, such as “positive affirmations for women” or “positive affirmations to improve self esteem”.
Repeat your phrase or phrases during meditation, either out loud or in your mind. Repeating affirmations or mantras during consistent meditation practices can help you overcome negative self-talk, which will greatly improve your mental health.
Practicing gratitude will sharpen your attention towards the positive aspects of your life. By focusing on what’s good, you’ll start to notice and appreciate other positive things in your life. Gratitude is more than just a feeling; it is a choice. By choosing to be grateful, you can keep your mind distracted from negative thoughts.
Eating healthy is a vital part of positive mental health. Eating a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains will slowly release energy into your bloodstream, creating a consistent level of energy that won’t leave you feeling tired or sluggish. Eating healthy will also provide a mental boost because you’ll feel good about your healthy food choices.
Sunshine is a great way to boost your mood. Put on some comfortable walking shoes and take a leisurely walk around your neighborhood, or a local park. Exposure to sunlight will help your brain release serotonin which will boost your mood, and help you feel more calm and focused.
A good night’s sleep is a vital part of a healthy lifestyle. When you’re well rested, you’re naturally energized. Regular sleep also boosts your immune system as well as your cognitive and mental health.
You have the power to improve your mood. By making some healthy additions to your daily routines, you can develop regular habits that will improve your overall mental well-being.
Are you having trouble staying positive or managing your moods? A licensed mental health professional can help you find better coping strategies, and offer additional support and guidance to help you live a more balanced life. Call my office today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.
If you’re like most people, you deal with your own fair share of stress most days. And that doesn’t really seem fair at all! Especially when you consider that chronic stress can negatively impact our health, sending blood pressure soaring and causing our hearts to work harder. Whether it’s a bully for a boss, a […]
If you’re like most people, you deal with your own fair share of stress most days. And that doesn’t really seem fair at all! Especially when you consider that chronic stress can negatively impact our health, sending blood pressure soaring and causing our hearts to work harder.
Whether it’s a bully for a boss, a horrific commute, mounting bills, or problems in your marriage, stress is a part of life we really can’t get away from. But there are things we can do to eliminate the effects of stress on our minds and body:
Sometimes stress comes from wanting to control everyone and every event in our lives. But this simply isn’t possible. Recognizing you don’t have control over everything and just letting go can often bring profound relief.
Taking slow, deep breaths gets you out of fight or flight mode and puts you into rest and digest mode. Our bodies cannot heal and repair when we are in constant states of fight or flight, only when we are in rest and relax mode. Whenever you feel stressed, take three deep, slow breaths in… hold it for a count of three… and exhale… Guaranteed you feel instantly calm and relaxed and you will help your body heal itself.
When we’re stressed it’s easy to make poor lifestyle choices that only lead to poor health outcomes. Be sure to make self-care a priority by eating right, drinking plenty of pure water, and getting enough sleep and exercise each day.
Mindfulness meditation is one of the best ways to calm your mind and keep it peaceful throughout the day. There are plenty of Youtube videos that will help you begin your practice.
Stress Awareness month is in April and there is no better way to celebrate it than to take care of yourself!
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When you think about it, modern women are really like superheroes. Not only are they obtaining college degrees and climbing corporate ladders, they’re doing so while also raising families. They may also find themselves taking care of aging parents at the same time. While some women are able to manage juggling all of these big […]
When you think about it, modern women are really like superheroes. Not only are they obtaining college degrees and climbing corporate ladders, they’re doing so while also raising families. They may also find themselves taking care of aging parents at the same time.
While some women are able to manage juggling all of these big responsibilities, many women, over time, will experience burnout and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Last summer, the world held its collective breath as gymnast Simone Biles made the heartbreaking decision to withdraw from the Olympic finals. She was very transparent, announcing her decision was a result of making her mental health a priority.
This was a real act of bravery and her decision shone a light on the importance of protecting the mental health of world-class athletes.
But the reality is, protecting your health is important for all women, no matter your career choice. From professional athletes to CEOs and every career woman in between, it is vitally important to prioritize their mental health.
The following are some ways professional women can protect their mental health from the burdens of careers and family life:
Accept and Expect Imperfections
No matter how hard you try, you’ll never get everything perfect 100% of the time, and that’s okay. Recognize your own humanity and give yourself a break.
Find Support
As you continue to try and be there for everyone else, it’s important that you find people and things to lean on. This can mean family, friends, your faith, or a personal exercise routine.
Make Time for Yourself
It’s important to step back from the daily grind every once in a while to just rest and relax. The more you take the time to recharge your battery, the more able you’ll be to juggle the responsibilities of your life.
Talk with Someone
Sometimes it’s easier to speak with someone outside of your social or familial network. Talking with a therapist can really help you gain perspective on your life and your abilities. He or she can also give you strategies to navigate the stressful situations in your life.
If you’d like to speak with someone and explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
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Most children are brought up to be kind and respectful of other people. They are taught to consider others’ feelings and help those in need. But when it comes to taking care of themselves, many people lack the ability to put their own needs first. To some, the concept of self-care is as foreign as […]
Most children are brought up to be kind and respectful of other people. They are taught to consider others’ feelings and help those in need. But when it comes to taking care of themselves, many people lack the ability to put their own needs first.
To some, the concept of self-care is as foreign as the language and customs of far away lands. The idea of putting their own needs first feels somehow wrong, or even selfish.
The good news is that it’s never too late to learn to treat yourself as you do others; to put yourself first in a healthy, energizing way. Here are some ways you can rewire your brain so it becomes increasingly easier to put yourself first, thereby recharging your life.
Learn to Say No
Being a caring and compassionate person is wonderful, but sacrificing yourself by saying “yes” all the time to other people’s needs will deplete your energy. Learning to set boundaries and say no is not only your right, it’s your responsibility. Try to start saying no more often, free of guilt.
Ask for Help
When you’ve taken on the role of helping others, it can feel uncomfortable asking for help when you need it. After all, you’re the one people go to when in need.
The thing to remember is, all of these people who come to you for help feel no shame or discomfort in asking for it. They need help, they ask for it, they get it. Try to do the same. As soon as you release the pressure you’ve put on yourself to handle everything alone, you will feel a tremendous weight lifted.
Get to Know Yourself!
Do you know what makes you tick? What do you like and dislike? People who are wired to neglect their own needs don’t typically know themselves very well. Knowing oneself is seen as a luxury they can’t afford.
Self-love and self-care require you get to know your SELF. Take some time to discover what you enjoy. Once you find what it is that pleases you, commit to doing it more often. Having more pleasure in your life will make you a happier person.
Taking these actions will have a tremendous impact on your life. As you get better and better at putting your needs first, you will feel happier and more empowered. You will know, deep down, that your own needs matter and you are worth the effort.
Some people have a tremendously hard time with these exercises because they have a very low self-esteem. And the longer you have lived with a low self-esteem, the harder it is to make positive changes.
In these instances, seeking the guidance of a trained therapist can be incredibly beneficial. He or she can help you work through any childhood trauma and provide tools to manage any anxiety or depression that often accompanies a low self-esteem.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
As our parents age, we want to treasure them for as long as we can, so we look for ways to help them stay healthy and active. But many older people suffer from depression, a condition that is not always easy to battle. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, depression affects more than 6.5 […]
As our parents age, we want to treasure them for as long as we can, so we look for ways to help them stay healthy and active. But many older people suffer from depression, a condition that is not always easy to battle.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, depression affects more than 6.5 million of the 35 million Americans aged 65 or older. Some have experienced episodes of depression throughout their life, while others may experience the first onset later in life, even well into their 80s and 90s.
What Causes Depression in Older People?
As mentioned, preexisting depression often leads to episodes later in life, particularly if the person has never been officially diagnosed or treated. Individuals with a history of anxiety often become more fearful as they age as well. As a result, they often isolate themselves, rarely participating in social activities, which, in turn, leads to depression.
Some older people have difficulty reviewing their lives. They may not feel proud of the life they’ve led and may get stuck dwelling on the more negative aspects. Perhaps they feel they did not accomplish enough, or they harbor resentment toward an old friend.
And of course, older people have to not only deal with declining abilities but also the loss of loved ones. A unique reality of aging is that your friends start to die, one by one. It is not uncommon for older people to go to several funerals in a single year.
How You Can Help
The very best thing you can do for your parent who you think may be suffering from depression is to offer your love and support. Let them know that you are there for them and happy to help with whatever they may need.
Having said this, it is equally important that you respect their needs for independence. Don’t try to take control of their life and act as if you know what’s best.
Also, consider visiting a therapist who can help your parent work through any unresolved issues and offer management strategies. A professional mental health professional can assess your parent to see if they are a good candidate for medication. Sometimes medication can help, other times, it can impair cognitive function. A therapist will know the right approach to take.
If you or someone you know has been watching their aging parent become more and more depressed, please get in touch with me. Let’s discuss treatment options and see how I may be able to help.
Drug and alcohol use in this country is on the rise, with over 23 million Americans addicted. To put that into clearer perspective, that’s one in every ten people in the United States over the age of 12 that are currently struggling with substance abuse. But what is addiction exactly, and how can we recognize […]
Drug and alcohol use in this country is on the rise, with over 23 million Americans addicted. To put that into clearer perspective, that’s one in every ten people in the United States over the age of 12 that are currently struggling with substance abuse.
But what is addiction exactly, and how can we recognize the symptoms?
Drug addiction, or substance use disorder, is the psychological and physiological need to continue using a substance, in spite of the fact that it is negatively impacting your relationships and life.
While each individual is unique and may not display all of these symptoms, the following are ways you can recognize addiction in loved ones before it takes over.
1. Physical Dependence
Over time, individuals build up a tolerance to the drug and must do more of it to feel the same effects. Changes in physiology (withdrawal) can make them feel bad and, when it comes to functioning “normally,” it can be almost impossible without the drug in their system.
2. Neglecting Responsibilities
Choosing drugs or alcohol over meeting personal obligations and responsibilities is one of the biggest signs of addiction. Being late in picking up a child from school because an individual is buying drugs, or calling in sick to work to stay home and get high all day are classic signs the addiction is taking precedence over adult obligations.
3. Developing Unhealthy Friendships
The phrase “like attracts like” is applicable when it comes to addiction. When individuals begin experimenting with new substances, they often find themselves spending time with others who have similar habits. Soon, that person is spending all of their time with people who may encourage these unhealthy habits.
4. Isolation
There are some individuals who, alternatively, choose to withdraw and isolate themselves in an attempt to hide their drug use from friends and family. Isolation is also a result of depression, anxiety, and paranoia.
5. Poor Judgement
Addiction causes people to partake in risky behavior. Addicts may begin lying, stealing, engaging in unsafe sex, and even selling drugs themselves. These behaviors are unsafe for their physical and mental wellbeing, and may even land them in jail.
Many addicts may not recognize they are exhibiting these telltale signs. In these instances, friends and family may need to encourage them in getting the help they desperately need. If you feel that you or a loved one is currently addicted to drugs or alcohol and interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
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Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder that typically occurs after individuals have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a serious accident, natural disaster, a terrorist act, war/combat, rape or other violent personal assault. In the past, PTSD went by different names. During and right after the years of World War 1, the […]
Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder that typically occurs after individuals have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a serious accident, natural disaster, a terrorist act, war/combat, rape or other violent personal assault.
In the past, PTSD went by different names. During and right after the years of World War 1, the term “shell shock” was often used. After World War 2, “combat fatigue” was the term that signified a reaction to a high level of stress or trauma.
It’s important to mention that PTSD is not experienced only by combat veterans, but can occur in all people. According to PTSD United, an estimated 24.4 million people in the United States have PTSD at any given time. That is equal to the total population of Texas.
What is it Like to Have PTSD?
Sufferers of PTSD continue to have intense and disturbing thoughts and feelings regarding the traumatic experiencing. Though the event itself may have taken place weeks, months or even years ago, the thoughts and feelings are fresh in the person’s mind. They may relive events through flashbacks or nightmares.
Often individuals feel isolated and detached from other people, and take great measures to avoid situations that may remind them of the traumatic event. They may even have strong, negative reactions to ordinary experiences that involve noises or an accidental touch.
Symptoms of PTSD
Symptoms of PTSD fall into four categories and can vary in severity from individual to individual.
Intrusive thoughts can take many forms: involuntary memories, nightmares and flashbacks are commonly experienced by those with PTSD. These thoughts can be so completely vivid that the individual fully believes they are reliving the traumatic experience in the moment.
Avoiding any and all reminders of the traumatic event typically requires the individual to avoid people, places, activities and situations that can bring on disturbing memories and thoughts. Individuals may also avoid conversations about the experience and lash out at those who ask if they want to talk about it.
It is common for those with PTSD to have distorted thoughts and beliefs about themselves or others, ongoing fear, anger, guilt or shame. These thoughts can look like, “I am a bad person,” “I can’t trust anyone,” or “I should have died, not her.” As a result of these distortions, individuals often have less interest in activities they once enjoyed and also begin to feel detached or estranged from loved others.
Reactive behavior associated with PTSD can include having angry outbursts, becoming easily irritable, behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way, being easily startled, or having problems concentrating or sleeping.
Many people who experience a traumatic event may experience symptoms like these in the days following the event. However, people with PTSD will experience these symptoms for months and even years. PTSD often occurs with other related conditions, such as depression, substance use, memory problems and other physical and mental health problems.
If you or someone you know is living with PTSD and is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
When was the last time you heard from your inner critic? You know, that voice in your head that constantly judges you, puts you down and compares you to others. The one that tells you you’re not good enough or smart enough and says things you would never dream of saying to another person. Now you may […]
When was the last time you heard from your inner critic? You know, that voice in your head that constantly judges you, puts you down and compares you to others. The one that tells you you’re not good enough or smart enough and says things you would never dream of saying to another person.
Now you may think this inner critic, while annoying, is relatively harmless. But this is simply not the case. This inner critical voice limits you and stops you from living the life you truly desire. It hinders your emotional well-being and, if left unchecked, can even lead to depression or anxiety.
Here are some ways you can silence that inner critic and stop beating yourself up.
That’s right, in order to gain control over your inner critic you have to know that it exists. Most of our thinking is automatic. In other words, we don’t give our thoughts much thought. We barely notice a critical thought has passed. Give attention to your thoughts, all of them. This will help you recognize the critical voice.
Here are some emotional clues the critic has reared its ugly head: whenever you feel doubt, guilt, shame, and worthlessness. These are almost always signs of the critic at work.
Your inner critic is like a parasite, feeding off you. You were not born with this parasite but acquired it along the way. Your inner critic hopes it can hide and blend in, and that you’ll think ITS thoughts are your own.
You have to separate yourself from this parasite. One way to do that is to give your critic a name. Have fun with this naming. You could call your inner critic anything from “Todd” to “Miss. Annoying Loudmouth.” It doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you learn to separate it from your authentic self.
In order to take the power away from your inner critic, you’ve got to give it a taste of its own medicine. As soon as you recognize your inner critic is speaking to you, tell it to shut up. Tell it that the jig is up, that you know it is a big, fat liar, and that you want it to go away. If you want to really make this voice recoil, tell it you are choosing to be kind to yourself from now on.
Self-compassion to an inner critic is like garlic to a vampire.
If you want to defeat an enemy, you need to have a powerful ally on your side. It’s important at this juncture to create an even more powerful inner voice. One that is on your side and acts as your BFF.
To create this new voice, start noticing the good things about yourself. No matter what that nasty critic said about you, the truth is you have fantastic traits and abilities. Start focusing on those. Yes, it will be hard at first to let yourself see you in a positive light, but the more you do it, the easier it will get.
Life is short. To have the most fulfilling one possible, we have to stop wasting time on beating ourselves up. Take these 4 steps and learn to quiet that inner critic. Your best you is waiting to be celebrated.
Some people’s inner critic is stronger than others. Sometimes the greatest ally you can have in your corner is an impartial third party, a therapist who can see you for who you really are.
If you or a loved one could use some help defeating your inner critic and would like to explore therapy, get in touch with me. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.