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The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down. Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how: Be Fully Present Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And […]
The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down.
Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how:
Be Fully Present
Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And this requires giving each other your full attention. Keep distractions like cell phones out of the conversation. Make eye contact and fully listen to what the other person is saying and how they are saying it.
Use “I” Statements
One of the biggest things that make a person tune out during a conversation is when they are told they are doing something wrong. YOU do this or YOU do that is not the best way to get your feelings across.
Try using more “I” statements. These statements focus on your feelings without casting blame on the other person.
So as an example, instead of saying, “You’re always late!” You can instead say, “I worry when you haven’t shown up and I haven’t heard from you.”
See the difference?
Avoid Negative Communication Patterns
Poor communication is typically the result of negative communication patterns. These include things like passive aggressiveness, ignoring the other person when they are speaking, and yelling.
While you may not be able to change your own negative communication patterns overnight, you can commit to becoming more aware of them and when they happen, stop the pattern and change it.
These are just some of the ways you can improve your communication with others. You may also want to seek the guidance of a couples’ therapist who can offer you even more strategies and a safe space to share your feelings.
If you’d like to explore counseling, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you reconnect with your partner.
SOURCES:
https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269
https://us.calmerry.com/blog/relationships/9-ways-to-improve-communication-in-your-relationship/
Sharing your life with someone means having open and honest conversations, even when those conversations are a bit difficult. But that’s easier said than done. During hard conversations, it’s common for many people to become triggered by something their partner has said. Calm one moment, but the next they’re thrown into “fight or flight” mode, […]
Sharing your life with someone means having open and honest conversations, even when those conversations are a bit difficult. But that’s easier said than done.
During hard conversations, it’s common for many people to become triggered by something their partner has said. Calm one moment, but the next they’re thrown into “fight or flight” mode, their brain sensing danger. Before they know it, the most primitive part of their brain is activated in an effort to help them survive. And this is when things can get ugly. Because it’s fairly impossible to speak calmly and rationally when your entire body is in survival mode.
Luckily there are things we can do during difficult conversations to regulate our emotional responses and keep ourselves calm and level-headed.
Pause and Breathe
As soon as you start to feel triggered, pause and take a few slow, deep breaths. While deep breathing may seem like a cliche, it is actually a very powerful tool that helps us get out of “fight or flight” mode and into a more relaxed state. When we breathe slowly and deeply, it sends a signal to our brain that we are out of danger.
Use Your Senses
Another effective way to regulate your emotions in the moment is to focus your attention on a physical sensation. You could take a sip of water and really feel the sensation of drinking, or you could run your fingers along the seam of the sofa cushion.
Listen Fully
It is so common in a conversation to listen to form a response. But when we do this it is far easier to misunderstand what the other person is really saying. Be sure to listen to understand, not to form a response.
Difficult conversations are inevitable when you are in any kind of relationship. But if you use these tips to regulate yourself, you can remain calm and communicate effectively with your partner.
SOURCES:
https://www.hope-wellness.com/blog/hard-relationship-conversations
https://hbr.org/2017/12/how-to-control-your-emotions-during-a-difficult-conversation
When we first fall in love with that special someone, we want to spend all of our time together. In fact, we seem to feel better when we are with our significant other. This is the infatuation stage, and admittedly, it feels really good. But enduring relationships move past this stage and into a place […]
When we first fall in love with that special someone, we want to spend all of our time together. In fact, we seem to feel better when we are with our significant other.
This is the infatuation stage, and admittedly, it feels really good. But enduring relationships move past this stage and into a place of mutual respect and care. This will require each partner to give the other space to be their own individuals.
First, what does it really mean to be an independent individual? It means you know how to be your own person, whether you are single or in a relationship. It means while you make the effort to make your partner happy, you also ensure that you continue to do the things you enjoy that bring you happiness.
The following are just some of the reasons why there should always be independence in a relationship:
When you lack independence and don’t have a solid sense of yourself, you can come across as “clingy” or needy. If you want to be around your partner 24/7 and they are wanting space, your neediness can drain their energy.
When the two of you stay independent, you give each other the opportunity to grow as individuals, which then can lead to growth as a couple.
Independent people are strong people, and strong people can be counted on when it matters most. When you are both strong individuals, you can lend that support when the other needs it.
Most of us demanded our independence when we were in our teens and early 20s. But life happens, and we can often lose that independent spirit and lose our own identities. If you need some help reconnecting with yourself so that you may one day enjoy a beneficial partnership, please get in touch with me. I’m more than happy to discuss how therapy can help.
SOURCES: