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Have you heard about the concept of mindfulness? It involves being aware of the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that you’re experiencing at any given time (this is commonly referred to as “present moment awareness”). Practicing mindfulness offers numerous benefits, including: Reduced stress, anxiety, and depression Increased sense of well-being Enhanced cognitive abilities Slowed brain […]
Have you heard about the concept of mindfulness? It involves being aware of the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that you’re experiencing at any given time (this is commonly referred to as “present moment awareness”). Practicing mindfulness offers numerous benefits, including:
Many people meditate by focusing on their breath—pay attention to how it feels as you inhale and exhale, and whenever you notice that your mind has wandered, acknowledge the distraction as a passing thought and then refocus your attention on your breathing. When you first begin practicing mindfulness, you may be able to do this for only a few minutes, but your sessions will likely get longer over time.
You can incorporate mindfulness techniques into your daily life by practicing present moment awareness when you’re:
If you’re having trouble, you may want to consider downloading an app that will guide you through the meditation process. Or, set some alarms on your phone that will remind you to meditate at certain times throughout the day.
If you’d like to know more about mindfulness techniques and the benefits of present-moment awareness, contact us today. We’ll be happy to schedule a therapy session at a date and time that works for you.
Finding a therapist that you feel totally safe and comfortable with is very important for your healing journey. Because of this, some people wonder whether it’s important for your therapist to be a certain gender. Some have theorized over the years that the gender of a therapist should not matter. After all if they have […]
Finding a therapist that you feel totally safe and comfortable with is very important for your healing journey. Because of this, some people wonder whether it’s important for your therapist to be a certain gender.
Some have theorized over the years that the gender of a therapist should not matter. After all if they have both been trained and licensed and have a solid track record of helping clients, why should it matter?
While this attitude may make sense with other professionals, such as a dentist or veterinarian, gender can have a much more profound impact when it comes to seeking mental health counseling.
Beliefs and Comfort Levels Affect Treatment
Wishing your dentist was a woman instead of a man will not effective the outcome of your root canal. But feeling safer with a female therapist will affect your outcomes. Or believing that only another man can truly understand what you are going through will certainly impact the effectiveness of your treatment.
A woman who is dealing with the trauma of a rape may certainly not feel safe enough in the presence of a male therapist. Conversely, a woman who has been traumatized by a narcissistic mother may only feel safe with a male therapist.
Parents bringing their child in for therapy may specifically seek either a female or male therapist, depending on the specific scenario or issue. A young boy without any positive male role models may need the guidance provided by a male therapist. A female child who is scarred by an abusive alcoholic father may need the safety and comfort of a female therapist.
You Have Every Right
You should never be made to feel guilty because you have a preference for a therapist who is of a certain gender. Your comfort should be your number one priority.
If you would like to explore treatment options, and feel I may be a good fit for your needs, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/faq/does-sex-or-gender-of-therapist-matter
Unless you’ve been living under a proverbial rock, you no doubt are aware that inflation is the highest it’s been in decades. From gas at the pumps to food and utilities, most of us are struggling to make ends meet. And without question, this is causing massive stress. If you are feeling intense stress from […]
Unless you’ve been living under a proverbial rock, you no doubt are aware that inflation is the highest it’s been in decades. From gas at the pumps to food and utilities, most of us are struggling to make ends meet. And without question, this is causing massive stress.
If you are feeling intense stress from the impact of inflation, here are some things you can do:
Be Honest
One of the worst things you can do when feeling stress and anxiety is to pretend you’re not. Be honest with yourself and others about what you’re feeling. The old saying goes, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil.” Ignoring your feelings or pretending they aren’t there will only make them louder and louder.
Get Your Mind Off of Things
Equally important as being honest about your stress is not obsessing over it. You really need to unplug from the stress of the economy and distract yourself with something. Mindless activities are actually a great way to quiet those stressful thoughts. Go for a run. Clean your kitchen. Watch an old movie. Whenever the anxiety begins to creep up, stop and do an activity that will calm you.
Find Joy
It’s important to step back and recognize that no matter how crazy the world gets and no matter how stressed we are, there is still plenty of joy all around us. On our darkest days, the sun still shines. Make sure to spend time each day noticing all of those small things that bring joy and happiness into your life. The perfect latte. A sunset. Your child’s laughter. Be thankful for each and every one of these. Gratitude is the great elixir of stress and sadness.
These are just a few ways you can cope with the stress of inflation. You may also want to speak to someone if your stress turns into unmanageable anxiety or depression. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/inflation-stress-anxiety-mental-health_l_62d958ade4b0aad58d18015b
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/how-to-prepare-for-inflation-coping-with-financial-stress/
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/05/18/rising-inflation-has-made-people-feel-anxious-here-are-ways-to-cope.html
The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down. Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how: Be Fully Present Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And […]
The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down.
Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how:
Be Fully Present
Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And this requires giving each other your full attention. Keep distractions like cell phones out of the conversation. Make eye contact and fully listen to what the other person is saying and how they are saying it.
Use “I” Statements
One of the biggest things that make a person tune out during a conversation is when they are told they are doing something wrong. YOU do this or YOU do that is not the best way to get your feelings across.
Try using more “I” statements. These statements focus on your feelings without casting blame on the other person.
So as an example, instead of saying, “You’re always late!” You can instead say, “I worry when you haven’t shown up and I haven’t heard from you.”
See the difference?
Avoid Negative Communication Patterns
Poor communication is typically the result of negative communication patterns. These include things like passive aggressiveness, ignoring the other person when they are speaking, and yelling.
While you may not be able to change your own negative communication patterns overnight, you can commit to becoming more aware of them and when they happen, stop the pattern and change it.
These are just some of the ways you can improve your communication with others. You may also want to seek the guidance of a couples’ therapist who can offer you even more strategies and a safe space to share your feelings.
If you’d like to explore counseling, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you reconnect with your partner.
SOURCES:
https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269
https://us.calmerry.com/blog/relationships/9-ways-to-improve-communication-in-your-relationship/
Do you ever get up in the morning and wonder if it would be okay for you to take a mental health day? If so, you’re definitely not alone. In fact, research from the American Psychological Association shows that today’s workforce is experiencing job burnout at alarming rates. What are Mental Health Days Exactly? The […]
Do you ever get up in the morning and wonder if it would be okay for you to take a mental health day? If so, you’re definitely not alone. In fact, research from the American Psychological Association shows that today’s workforce is experiencing job burnout at alarming rates.
What are Mental Health Days Exactly?
The good news is that taking a mental health day every once in a while can absolutely help you cope with work-related stress. But mental health days should not be confused with sick days.
Mental health days are simply those times when you need to take a break from anything work related. These personal days are used to reset your mind by focusing on activities that rejuvenate and reenergize you.
The following are some red flags that are letting you know you need to put your mental health first:
You Feel Run Down
Being stressed and overworked can take a toll on your mind and body. If you’ve been feeling run down for a period of time, take a break.
You Feel Angry More Often
When we feel stressed and burned out, we become angry far more easily and far more often. If you find you have been getting easily irritated, this is a sign it may be time for a mental health day.
You’re Having a Hard Time Focusing
When we’re stressed, our mental faculties take a hit and we can’t focus as easily. This makes it incredibly hard to get any work done. Which of course just makes us feel more stressed.
If you notice your cognitive abilities have declined a bit, may be time to call off work for a day of destressing.
If you have been experiencing any of these signs, I encourage you to put your mental health first and take a mental health day. And if you would like to speak to someone about how you’re feeling, please reach out to me. I’m a great listener and have numerous tools for coping with stress that I can share with you.
SOURCES:
https://info.totalwellnesshealth.com/blog/mental-health-day-from-work
https://www.livestrong.com/article/13767705-how-to-take-mental-health-day/
Bipolar disorder is a condition that affects an individual’s mood. While manageable, the condition not only affects how a person thinks and feels, but also how they behave and act in romantic relationships. For instance, individuals with bipolar disorder experience severe high and low moods, which are typically called manic and depressive episodes. While in […]
Bipolar disorder is a condition that affects an individual’s mood. While manageable, the condition not only affects how a person thinks and feels, but also how they behave and act in romantic relationships. For instance, individuals with bipolar disorder experience severe high and low moods, which are typically called manic and depressive episodes. While in these emotional states, their behavior can scare and confuse their partner.
The good news is, with the right treatment plan, many individuals with bipolar disorder can have healthy and satisfying relationships.
Manic vs Depressive Episodes
In order to understand how bipolar disorder can affect relationships, we need to look at how the two main episodes affect a person’s personality and behavior.
When someone is in a manic state, they are often very irritable. This may cause them to disagree with their partner, and sometimes cause them to look for fights that aren’t really there.
Manic episodes also cause sufferers to partake in risky behaviors, such as binge drinking or gambling sprees. These risky behaviors can cause a lot of tension in the relationship.
Depressive episodes tend to cause the person to become very depressed and less communicative. They may be very weepy and feel hopeless. During these episodes the individual may pull away from their partner. They may also seem so lost and sad their partner feels overwhelmed and unable to help them.
Tips for Healthy Relationships
There is no relationship on the planet that doesn’t require a lot of work and effort. A relationship with a bipolar individual is no different. The good news is, there are numerous ways to build a loving and strong relationship in this situation:
Takeaway
If you’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, or if you are on the verge or diving into a relationship with someone who has, know that the condition does not mean you will be saddled with problems. But a healthy relationship will depend on effectively managing symptoms.
If you’d like to work with a licensed mental health therapist who specializes in working with individuals with bipolar disorder, please give my office a call. I’d be happy to discuss treatment plans and how I may be able to help you experience a profound and loving connection with others.
SOURCES:
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324380
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/mood-disorders/bipolar-relationships-what-to-expect
https://www.bipolarlife.org.au/how-can-bipolar-disorder-affect-relationships/
Life has been beyond challenging for most of us the last couple of years as we’ve dealt with a global pandemic and subsequent lockdowns. And just when we thought we were all out of the woods and life was back to normal, we now find ourselves facing sky high inflation, a recession, and the threat […]
Life has been beyond challenging for most of us the last couple of years as we’ve dealt with a global pandemic and subsequent lockdowns. And just when we thought we were all out of the woods and life was back to normal, we now find ourselves facing sky high inflation, a recession, and the threat of WW III. Needless to say, these events can trigger some pretty strong emotions in us.
We never want to fully deny our emotions. Feeling them is how we process the events of our lives. But there comes the point where we need to figure out a way to move through the emotions and get safely to the other side. One of the most effective ways to do this is through mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a simple, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. It is a powerful way to connect with our bodies and emotions, but in a higher state of awareness.
Mindfulness helps us regulate our emotions by putting us in a calm and relaxed state of presence. From here we can have a more mature and sensible point of view of the events in our lives.
Second, when practiced regularly, mindfulness can help us develop skills that promote emotional maturity and self-regulation. These skills include self-awareness and attentional control.
And finally, mindfulness can increase the time between trigger and response. In this way, mindfulness acts a bit like an advanced warning system, alerting us to a potential ugly scene, giving us time to engage in emotional self-monitoring. This gives us the opportunity to choose our emotional response very, very carefully.
There are many online resources for getting started with a mindfulness meditation practice. Spend some time searching Google and exploring Youtube for some helpful sites and videos.
If you are interested in working privately with someone on regulating your emotions, please reach out to me. I use mindfulness in my practice with clients and would be happy to answer any questions you may have.
Sources:
https://mentalhealthmatch.com/articles/skills/what-is-mindfulness-and-how-to-use-it-to-regulate-emotions
Sharing your life with someone means having open and honest conversations, even when those conversations are a bit difficult. But that’s easier said than done. During hard conversations, it’s common for many people to become triggered by something their partner has said. Calm one moment, but the next they’re thrown into “fight or flight” mode, […]
Sharing your life with someone means having open and honest conversations, even when those conversations are a bit difficult. But that’s easier said than done.
During hard conversations, it’s common for many people to become triggered by something their partner has said. Calm one moment, but the next they’re thrown into “fight or flight” mode, their brain sensing danger. Before they know it, the most primitive part of their brain is activated in an effort to help them survive. And this is when things can get ugly. Because it’s fairly impossible to speak calmly and rationally when your entire body is in survival mode.
Luckily there are things we can do during difficult conversations to regulate our emotional responses and keep ourselves calm and level-headed.
Pause and Breathe
As soon as you start to feel triggered, pause and take a few slow, deep breaths. While deep breathing may seem like a cliche, it is actually a very powerful tool that helps us get out of “fight or flight” mode and into a more relaxed state. When we breathe slowly and deeply, it sends a signal to our brain that we are out of danger.
Use Your Senses
Another effective way to regulate your emotions in the moment is to focus your attention on a physical sensation. You could take a sip of water and really feel the sensation of drinking, or you could run your fingers along the seam of the sofa cushion.
Listen Fully
It is so common in a conversation to listen to form a response. But when we do this it is far easier to misunderstand what the other person is really saying. Be sure to listen to understand, not to form a response.
Difficult conversations are inevitable when you are in any kind of relationship. But if you use these tips to regulate yourself, you can remain calm and communicate effectively with your partner.
SOURCES:
https://www.hope-wellness.com/blog/hard-relationship-conversations
https://hbr.org/2017/12/how-to-control-your-emotions-during-a-difficult-conversation
There is a very old saying that says, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” This is a warning to people to not act out in anger or resentment because you only end up harming yourself. Over time, these feelings of resentment can build until the individual develops feelings of depression or anxiety. […]
There is a very old saying that says, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” This is a warning to people to not act out in anger or resentment because you only end up harming yourself. Over time, these feelings of resentment can build until the individual develops feelings of depression or anxiety.
While forgiving others who have hurt us isn’t always easy, in the end, it greatly benefits our mental health and overall well-being. To be clear, forgiving others does NOT mean you agree with or condor their poor behavior. And it doesn’t mean you are announcing that your feelings don’t matter. Forgiveness simply means letting go of the negative feelings that are holding you down and causing you prolonged distress.
Again, forgiving someone who has hurt you isn’t easy, but it will lead you to a sense of peace and joy. Here are some steps you can take to forgive others:
Process Your Pain
Have you really faced your pain and processed it? You’ll need to do this before you can let those feelings go. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings deeply and fully. Cry, yell, hit your pillow, do whatever it takes.
Forgive Yourself
It takes two to tango, as they say. While we can easily point to others and blame them for the breakup or ugly incident, the truth is, we were there also. We played some role. Even if it was to retaliate in the moment and to show our own ugliness. It’s time to forgive your own humanity and any wrongdoing to yourself or others.
Try to Understand
True forgiveness is impossible without a sense of understanding. You can try to forgive, claim you have forgiven, only to have those negative nagging feelings crop up again and again. When we try to understand why someone has acted the way they have, it can wipe out the negative feelings instantly, almost as if by magic.
A critical parent acts the way they act because they, too, were the victim of a critical parent. An overbearing boss is dealing with a personal tragedy at home. Our cheating spouse is self-sabotaging his or her life because they have incredibly low self-esteem and do not feel they deserve happiness. Life is complicated and human beings are even more so. Try and understand why someone has hurt you. You will be amazed at what this magical A-ha moment can do for you.
And if you’d like to speak to someone and get some guidance and much-needed perspective, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complicated-love/202006/the-healing-power-forgiveness
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-benefits-of-forgiveness-3144954
We all believe we know what narcissism looks like. After all, aren’t a majority of politicians and Hollywood A-listers narcissists, projecting their massive egos onto the world? While that may be true, narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. They walk among us, some of them obvious, and some of them covert. So how can […]
We all believe we know what narcissism looks like. After all, aren’t a majority of politicians and Hollywood A-listers narcissists, projecting their massive egos onto the world?
While that may be true, narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. They walk among us, some of them obvious, and some of them covert.
So how can you tell if you’re dealing with an actual narcissist or just someone who is a bit full of themself? Here are a handful of traits the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) lists as characteristics that someone is a narcissist:
A Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance
Narcissists see themselves as incredibly essential to the success and happiness of other people. In their eyes, they believe they are capable of exceptionally high levels of achievement, whether they are or aren’t in reality.
They are Special or Unique
Narcissists believe they are so special and unique that few people can really understand them. Many will only want to spend time around high-status people.
A Need for Admiration
We all can admit it feels good to be appreciated and admired. But narcissists have an absolute need for admiration and a lot of it.
A Sense of Entitlement
Narcissists truly believe they are the exception to the rule. If there is a line of people waiting to be seated, a narcissist will cut that line because why should they of all people be forced to wait? If you’ve spent any amount of time around an actual narcissist, their entitlement can be shocking as it seems to know no bounds.
A Lack of Empathy
Narcissist simply cannot imagine how others feel. They are wired differently from non-narcissistic people. When you can’t empathize or feel what someone else is, it makes it incredibly easy to abuse those around you.
These are just some of the main traits of a narcissist. Needless to say, spending any amount of time in their presence can be a very toxic and taxing experience.
SOURCES:
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/14-signs-of-narcissism
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202110/the-13-traits-narcissist
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder